I have these last few weeks been thinking about the problems of the Islamic vision of heaven. How it reflects a man-centred vision in which it degrades man to sub-human acts such as bestiality, slavery, and subjects Muslim women to eternal open relationships; and allows sin into heaven. How its focus is on the rewards of Allah, reducing Allah to a means to an end; and how easy it would be to approximate this paradise on earth. I then want to compare this—but not exhaustively—with the Christian vision of heaven. I want to do this for two reasons: one, to give Christians a good critique of Islam; and two, to demonstrate to Muslims the beauty and truth of the Christian faith.
The description of paradise found in the Islamic sources is without doubt the wet dream (quite literally) of every 7th-century Bedouin. It is a veritable smorgasbord of intoxicating delights, delicious foods, opulent surroundings, the best clothes, rivers of non-intoxicating wine, and the companionship of houris (more on these gorgeous dolls later). Think of a Hugh Hefner Playboy mansion on steroids, but where you are not an old lecherous man and the women around you are not prostitutes, but everyone is rather young, virile, and strong and in perfect health forever. If you imagine something like this, I want to tell you the Islamic paradise is better still. Sam Shamoun famously called this vision ‘Allah’s brothel’, which is too harsh a characterisation for sure. There is of course fellowship in the Islamic heaven as well, (you cannot get in until you reconcile with every muslim you bear a grudge with) and an opportunity to see Allah (but only for the best Muslims—and only a glimpse, mind you). Though; one is not sure how this is possible – without Allah entering into creation as ‘vision’ is a created thing; but that is for another day. Each of its inhabitants will never suffer deprivations of any kind and will be sixty feet tall.
This brings me to the first issue: its male-orientated vision. Perpetual virgins, and lots of them, that are keen to pleasure you is of course something that appeals to every man’s base passions. The idea of amazing food is making me hungry just writing this article. However, what is in it for the women? One cannot imagine that 72 virgin males who each and every night needed to be told what to do and where to put it would become anything but a chore—not a pleasure. Though I suppose not having to cook, clean, and raise the kids might seem like a nice change. However, in all seriousness, this is a message for men. It is how the richest Arabs of Arabia lived. In other words, Islamic heaven was fashioned on how the rich lived; that is the pagan rich, this was a vision of pagan worldly society writ into the heavens. Women and their wants and needs are just an afterthought. I have put this to Muslimas over the years, and usually the answer is that they get whatever they want; but that is problematic, (what is the they want to shag a horse – one must conclude that they can’t get everything they want) and the tradition seems to suggest that righteous women get to spend eternity with their husbands, which again is a very male perspective on the matter; what is they put up with their husbands for Allah’s sake, but don’t want to ever see them again.
The most problematic problem of the Islamic heaven, though, for me is the houris—which sounds like “the whores,” but it’s really not. It is more accurate to think of the Houris as a new species of pleasure creatures for the sole purpose of keeping men company in paradise. The Quran describes at length their qualities, and yes, they sound appealing. The emphasis of the Quran is upon their physical description: the shape and size of their breasts and eyes, how little hair they have, how tall and how wide, the classic hourglass figure. That they are virgins and young, and on and on it goes. As to their personality, not much is said—except that they are chaste, modest, and restrain their glances from your male companions in paradise. The Houris are married to the righteous believers and service them in every way that is needed and every night – wink, wink.
That, however, is the problem. This species of celestial beings is not human; they are just human-like, in the same way as a transwoman is not a woman, just woman-like. They do not have a choice about “loving” you, and so in fact, because love requires a choice, this is indeed not love. (Imagine you brainwash someone into loving you—would it still be love? You know its not!) Thus the sex between these two creatures is not one of love, but something else – lust; the relationship is about lust and power – not love. Furthermore, their relationship is akin to bestiality—having sex with a creature of Allah that is not human and cannot relate to you as a human; and thus whom you can not relate to as a human. We can—and in works of fiction do—imagine that there will be a future in which sex robots are made for the pleasure of men; think the teen movie Weird Science, or AI. This is more akin to Allah’s heaven than anything a Christian could recognise. It also smacks of need. Despite it being a vision of plenty, the fact that again and again one would want to have sex with these ‘beasts of burden’ smacks of a lack of satisfaction in heaven. Also think of the poor righteous wives who have now entered heaven, and their reward is to watch their husbands have an open relationship, not just with the other three wives he had (one of which they did not know about until they entered the gate of paradise, because Islam does not require a man to tell a woman who else he is married to), but now also with all of the “she-creatures” who strut around like shy porn stars. What a smack in the teeth for a lifetime of sacrifice. However, at least the misyar marriage—where the women (and only the women) gave up some of their normative rights—is no longer in effect. Arh, alas, nope—it’s really not. The whole set-up of heaven for the women is a perpetual misyar marriage!
Now obviously I am writing this with a little tongue in cheek and a bit of a satirical tone, but there are some serious points here. The vision of sex slaves (if they are not freely choosing to marry you, how can it be understood in any other way?) both is inspired by and inspires the reality of sex slaves on earth. Just like the visions of the gardens of Jannah was inspired by the oasis settings of the Arabian pagan elites and inspired the beautiful Islamic architecture of the Alhambra’s fruit gardens. These visions we have of heaven influence the cultures we create on earth. Consider how Christian architecture moves ever upwards, capturing the vision of the saints in worship of GOD; or how Christians were inspired to investigate the natural world to think GOD’s thoughts after Him—because in the Christian heaven the saints worship GOD as they know Him, and increasingly know Him more, (see Aquinas and Bonaventure). So it really does matter what you believe about heaven—not least because it could make all the difference between good and bad architecture.
However, three more problems present themselves in regards to this vision of paradise. The first is that it is subhuman. It is subhuman and degenerate to have sex with any creature apart from a human. It is subhuman not to be perfected in heaven; to desire GOD alone with all your being (which is the true nature of man) but then in heaven exchange that for perfected worldly pleasures. If we are called to see GOD – as end (as both Islam and Christianity do; in the strictest and most charitable reading), and do things for the love of GOD, why in heaven should we want for anything else? Furthermore, no matter how you dress it up, this vision of heaven is just “sin” licensed. Why would Allah create a new sharia in heaven and make licit that which was haram as a reward? Obviously we are again speaking of the houris here, not “being rich.” Why drink in heaven what on earth is forbidden?
This emphasis on such “worldly desires” in the hearts of Muslims – when you ask them “why should we keep the pillars” or do x, y, z – more often than not comes back the answer something that is emphasising either the joy of the rewards or fear of the punishment, not as a Christian would answer: for the love of GOD. In other words, Muslims treat Allah as a means to an end – not an end in Himself. Pleasing Him is for the result of the pleasure of heaven or to avoid the pains of hell, not because He is GOD and it is sufficient on its own to love Him; for His glory and splendour, and wonder of His mercy. This difference in attitude between Christians and Muslims on the “why do you do the good works” is in no small measure down to the fact that for the Christian paradise is a gift; in Islam it is earned.
The other issue for this kind of paradise is that it’s not that far off an Epstein Island. This may seem overly harsh, but it’s actually been done before (or at least was claimed to have been done). Have you heard of the Islamic group in the Crusader period called the Assassins, or Hashashin, more accurately called the Nizari Ismailis, who established a series of mountain strongholds in Persia? This group broke away from the mainstream of Shia Islam (Twelver Islam) as they recognised the seventh Imam to be Ismail ibn Jafar; hence the name. In ano domini 1094, the Fatimid Caliph-Imam al-Mustansir died in Egypt. His eldest son Nizar was passed over in favour of a younger brother. Supporters of Nizar, including the Persian Ismaili missionary Hassan-i Sabbah (AD 1050–1124), rejected the new Fatimid line. Hassan had already seized the impregnable fortress of Alamut in the Alborz Mountains of northern Persia in AD1090. This marked the effective foundation of the independent Nizari Ismaili state (often called the Alamut period, lasting until the Mongol conquest in AD1256). The holy martyr Conrad of Montferrat in AD1192 was assassinated by one of their fedayeen in AD1192. Their Sunni opponents (and this is the important bit – so underline it) accused them of drugging young recruits and placing them in “paradise gardens” to brainwash them into thinking that the “Old Man of the Mountain” could transport people to paradise in exchange for doing his bidding. Now, in truth, this idea has largely been dismissed in modern times, but it is an admission at least by Sunni polemicists that one could feasibly create an approximation of the Islamic paradise here on earth. An Epstein character, or modern Disney, could create something resembling the Islamic paradise because they have the money to do it.
Often when Muslims are challenged on this – especially the houris, and the fact that the righteous wives find themselves in a misyar marriage they never agreed to, with nearly 80 other women and beasts of burden – they offer the defence that the nature of the houri and of the righteous wives is such that they feel no desires other than what would accord with their state in paradise. And I would concede this does remove the problem of anyone being unhappy with their lot; fine! So everyone is happy, however, it deals with literally none of the problems I have mentioned in this article. The slavery of the beasts known as houri, the open relationship, the licensing of sin, the using Allah as a means to an end, the sub human depravities, all of this remains even if everyone is having a great time. Why could Allah have not just reworked the man to be satisfied with his wives? Duh – rookie!
The Christian vision of heaven is quite different. For the Christian the vision is one of consummation: of being taken up into the very life of GOD and enjoying His presence and company forever, in which all our needs are met purely from His presence and our enjoyment of it. The love of GOD to Him and from Him is the very thing that nourishes all our needs. So much so that marriage is no longer needed, and we are all united to one another by the same love of GOD that flows through us all. All our words are upon our beloved and all our satisfaction is in Him. We complete the desire of our heart and yearning in this life to be nearest to Him whom we love above all things by enjoying that reality forever and in the fullest sense. This is described in many metaphors in the Scriptures: visions of Jerusalem, of the temple, or a marriage feast; of a celestial enthronement, wedding, or worship service; rooms in a mansion; a paradisical garden. These pictures are not understood to be literally how it is, but they capture the essence of what we are to enjoy: GOD’s fellowship, GOD’s presence; we becoming one with GOD in terms of sharing in His eternal life and love; the vision of GOD in all His wonder, majesty, might, and power. All of creation is renewed in this reality: a new heaven and a new earth – indeed a new creation emerges from it – without any of the deprivations caused by sin, which is properly the absence of, or a deficiency of a good – misplaced or abused. Man is perfected and wants nothing of sin or its approximations, and does not need lesser good things like food (in the image of the article – the food represents communion, not want), comfort, and marriage. All is to the glory of GOD; and in that glory we share, are transformed, and continue to grow until we reach the point where we may gaze upon the face of our Creator forever!
Which heaven then dear reader do you want; and which version of heaven should we seek to shape this world by! The Christian vision can be shared and enjoyed equally by both men and women; and raises in us instincts of the spiritual not the carnal; and that is most telling.
